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Happy Sunday Reader!
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What a crazy world we are currently living in. It seems like there are new things, bad news, information, and changes coming at us from all sides. It can get overwhelming! One of the things I love about fall is that it invites you to slow down a bit. If life feels overwhelming to you right now, look for ways to slow down. Say no, reschedule, and find some calmness in the cozy of fall.

Self care tip.....

Today we are going to see if we can identify the root voice of your negative self-talk. Everyone deals with negative self-talk. Even if they deny it, they do. That critical voice is rooted in how the brain is wired to look out for dangers (aka failures or perceived failures) to keep you safe.

As annoying as that negative self-talk voice is, it is a vital part of how humans have made it this far. By being aware of threats, dangers, or areas of weaknesses, we can change our actions to accommodate for those weaknesses and give ourselves a better chance of survival.

However, our world has changed over the centuries. In our ancestors times, the critical voice was used in different situations like:

• There was a lion behind this rock the last time we went though here, and you are not fast enough to out run a lion.
• If I make the leader mad, they might kick me out of the group and I am unable to survive on my own. So, I better behave properly.
• I need to be a better hunter or I will not be able to feed myself and my family.

Today, the threats in our lives have changed, but your inner critical voice is still looking out for ways we feel unsafe like:

• In the last meeting, someone laughed when I misspoke. I have to be perfect or they will think I can't do this job.
• If I don't work hard at keeping my house clean, my boyfriend will leave me.
• If I lose this job, I will not be able to afford a house or food for myself and my family.

The situations are different, but the same underlying fears and shame are still present. Shame or fear is is often at the root of negative self-talk. But often we are so distracted and defeated, we focus on the action that didn't go well, and never get down to address the root cause of the situation. In the examples above, shame or fear is the root of each situation.

• Fear of inadequacy
• Shame of not being good enough or fear of being alone
• Shame of not being able to provide

Etsy Find of the week.....

Practicing challenging and re-framing these negative thoughts is key to mastering this change from allowing negative self-talk to control your life. Here are some fun and helpful worksheets that can help you develop a habit or second nature of reframing your thoughts.

I love that this one calls that voice your Inner Critic! Giving it a name can help you take back control over those negative thoughts!

Remind yourself to challenge your thoughts with this helpful worksheet set!

This is the Ultimate Guide.... So it must be amazing!!

Upcoming week intention......

In some quiet time this week, take some time to write down some common negative self-talk phrases or critical voice phrases that you often hear in your head. Put them down on paper, and then look for the root cause of shame or fear that drives those fears. Some of those roots may be deep seeded fears or trauma from your life. If you feel comfortable find a trusted friend or therapist to help you talk through some of these feelings so you can identify the root and turn it into a compassionate positive self-talk situation in the future.

Weekly good news to share.....

Pets can be the ultimate form of self-care! I love this story about how a senior citizen in California adopted a senior citizen dog to give them both some companionship. Johanna, at age 100, is now the caregiver for Gucci, an 11 year old chihuahua mix who has made herself at home in Johanna's home!

Featured blog post of the week......

I know we are talking about all things fall and Halloween, but Christmas is just around the corner (like 10 weeks to be exact!). Dont panic, but that means you will need to buy all of those Christmas presents before then. Get a head start on savings for those presents using these tips on how to set up automatic transfers to pay yourself first! HoHoHo!

One thing I am loving this week.....

Fall is such a spectacular time around the US! Trees and grasses are turning the most brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow. Even if you are staying close to home, I love to look at travel ideas and pictures of the fall colors. Here are some great ideas for you to dream about, or to find pictures to enjoy!

I think that Jackson Hole and Telluride are at the top of my list..... although Bermuda does sound tempting!

Katie

PS: Don't forget to join us on Instagram or Facebook to share your thoughts on our topic this week!

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