Self-Care Sunday- Do you know what type of negative self-talk you experience?
Happy Sunday Reader!
Fall has really settled in around here! The leaves are gone from the trees, the nights feel extra dark, and the creepy Halloween air surrounds you in the evening. What is your favorite part of fall? I would love to hear about it over on our Instagram page!
Self care tip.....
Now the rubber meets the road in this self-talk discussion! Today we are going to talk about identifying common types of negative self-talk and how we can reframe our thoughts to turn negative thinking into positive thinking.
The Mayo Clinic has identified the four most common forms of negative self-talk:
Personalizing
Personalizing is basically when “It’s not you, it’s me” becomes your mantra. If something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself.
For instance: If you text the group chat and everyone takes much longer to reply than normal, you start thinking to yourself “everyone is probably mad at me” or “they clearly don’t want to be friends with me anymore.” When, in fact, they all could just be having a very busy day.
The first step to overcoming this type of negative thought is to challenge the thought by asking yourself some common questions.
- Is there any evidence to support this thought?
- Is the thought factual or just my interpretation?
- Is there an alternative explanation to counteract the negative thought?
The next time you’re feeling as though you’re to blame if something goes wrong or seems different than normal—take a step back. Breathe deeply and look at the situation from the outside. You know your friends care about you—what are some other, more realistic reasons you haven’t heard from them?
Filtering
With filtering, you magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. For example: If you’re trying to save money and go over budget by $50, you might get caught up on that instead of the fact that you still put $200 away in savings.
This is one that I struggle with frequently.
Every accomplishment, no matter if they are big or small, can outweigh the negative. When you begin to look at the glass as half full, instead of half empty, life will feel so much more rewarding. If you find yourself filtering, try to jot down all the things that have gone right recently (big or small). You’ll slowly begin to realize that things may not be as bad as they seem.
Catastrophizing
With catastrophizing, you automatically anticipate the worst. For example: On the way to the office, the train gets stopped underground and you immediately assume you’ll be stuck for hours.
When this comes up, putting things in the proper perspective is key. Start with some of the following questions:
- How likely is this situation to happen?
- If that situation occurs, what will the results be and how will I deal with it?
- Consider any other outcomes that may happen
- Is the situation uncomfortable, inconvenient, or truly catastrophic?
Can a stalled train actually stay stuck for hours? And, if it does, wouldn’t you still be OK in the long run? This is another instance in which taking a step back to look at a situation for what it really is can come in handy.
Polarizing
With polarizing, you see things only as either good or bad. There is no middle ground. It’s the feeling that you have to be perfect or you're a total failure. For example: If you’ve been getting up early all week, and one morning you feel the need to get a few more Zzz’s and hit snooze—suddenly, you feel as though this makes you a lazy person.
In these instances, you’ve got to treat yourself with kindness. If you don’t do something perfectly, reassure yourself that you’re only human. You’re allowed to make choices that cater to your needs at the moment. And sometimes, what we view as a mistake can become a lesson or motivation to keep trying.
Etsy Find of the week.....
Thanksgiving is just around the corner, so these fun Thanksgiving and fall decorations are perfect to add some festive to you house! These are some of my favorites, but if you want some more inspiration, check out Etsy!
Get everyone involved with the decorations and color your tablescape this year!
I am such a sucker for knitted, cozy pumpkin decorations!
Celebrate the cornerstone of Thanksgiving with these fun turkey decorations!
Every front door needs a gnome! Especially a fall themed gnome!
Upcoming week intention......
Pay attention to your thoughts this week. When a negative self-talk thought comes up, identify the type of thought and put a name to it. Sometimes, by being specific with calling out your negative thought, it can help stop it in it's tracks.
When my flight was late recently, I was catastrophizing into a downward spiral. By pausing and saying to myself, this is a catastrophizing negative thought, I was able to think through my situation with less panic and fear to realize that missing my connection would be inconvenient, but could be managed.
Weekly good news to share.....
Loneliness is a frequent cause for negative self-talk. A lack of positive feedback from people around us can be fuel to the negative self-talk fire. I love this good news where Phillip Jackson is doing something to combat loneliness! By using his hobby of woodworking, he is now starting a movement for men to get together and learn or improve their woodworking skills. What a great idea that could be expanded for many hobbies or skills across the world!
Featured blog post of the week......
Like I shared recently, fall is my favorite time to curl up with a good book! If the list of finance books I shared recently wasn't your speed, maybe these books that help you create margin in your life will resonate with you! If your life feels overwhelming, taking some time to intentionally find a way to create margin will make a huge impact on your quality of life.
One thing I am loving this week.....
Are you getting ready for some Halloween activities in the next week or so! Halloween is one of my favorite holidays to cook for, because there are so many creative recipes and treats out there! Check out some of my favorites to use as inspiration for your Halloween party!
- Halloween Monster Mash Cookies
- Jack-o-lantern Cheese Quesadillas
- Pumpkin Hummus
- Spooky Halloween Pretzels
- Mummy Brie
What is your favorite Halloween themed treat? I would love to hear about the recipe on our Instagram page!
Katie
PS: Don't forget to join us on Instagram or Facebook to share your thoughts on our topic this week!
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